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| Painting I did tonight about my new calling to mobilize first the American Christians to adopt from Southeast Asia, and then Christians everywhere to adopt children in need everywhere. Sorry if you cannot read the captions, on the left in the U.S. it says "We have room and love for more!" in the airplane it is "I wonder what my new home will be like..." top in China "I wish I had a mommy & daddy" bottom in China "WAAAAH!" (It is a little baby crying) The top banner is "Families open hearts, hands, and homes to lonely babies and children all over the world" |
Hello my dear friends and supporters,
Today has been quite the day! It started by getting to sleep in because thankfully my morning college class was cancelled due to the snow. I am still trying to get over jet lag so the extra sleep was much appreciated.
I am a bit embarrassed to say that I did not accomplish much with my morning and afternoon off. I allowed distracting thoughts to make me unproductive. Fretting about boys while trying to do accounting homework is usually not good for the accounting. Who would have guessed?
In the early evening I decided to look at some YouTube videos and take a break from accounting because I had gotten to a problem I did not know how to answer and I did not feel like going through the work of figuring it out. I started with some silly videos of my favorite YouTubing twins. They are so funny! I have always had a huge interest in twins, and I hope someday that I will be a mother to twins. After wasting fifteen/twenty minutes one of the suggested videos for me to watch was The Houses Where China's Babies Are Abandoned. After that I watched The Dying Room. I am going to link to the documentaries that I watched, but I will warn you The Dying Room is not pleasant to watch. It is not easy to watch. I would advise that you not watch it in front of your children. It is hard to see. Even if you think you are prepared, as I did. After watching these two documentaries about the how many babies are abandoned and the deplorable conditions some of them live in I was heartbroken, depressed, angry, and overwhelmed. I wanted to bring these children home and take care of them! However, I knew that is not an option.
Ever since I was five, I wanted to be a wife and a mother. As I grew and my hopes expanded to "I want to be a mother to a big family with some adopted children." When I was around ten I first heard about the Gilbreth family and my mother read me the book Cheaper by the Dozen. They were an amazing big family with twelve children who were completely misrepresented in the Hollywood movies about their lives. At the end of it I thought "If it is cheaper by the dozen; I'll take two." and ever since then I have felt a desire and the capacity to care for around twenty-five children. I still fully plan to mother around twenty-five children. I don't know where I will find a husband who will share this dream and passion for children, but I have decided if such a man cannot be found, then somehow, someway I will find a way to do it by myself. If Mother Teresa could, why can't I?
In watching The Dying Room and seeing children who are tied to chairs over their potties all day long, and babies who live in soiled diapers until they have sores, and sick ones left in rooms to die alone, I was broken again for these children.
I looked up some statistic numbers and discovered that if the numbers I got were accurate for every orphan in the world that is living on the streets or in an orphanage, there are eight Americans who identify as a Protestant Christian. We outnumber them eight to one and yet there are still over seventeen million of them out there. How can this be?!?!
Now I am well aware that not every Protestant Christian has the ability to adopt. I myself am to my great dismay not yet in a place to adopt. Many who care are too poor, already have as many children as they can take care of, are unmarried and unprepared for single parenthood, do not have the emotional strength, etc, but at the same time, eight to one seems like a ratio that we could handle and eliminate. If just one in eight Protestant American Christians would adopt one child we could get them off the streets and out of the understaffed and overcrowded orphanages. Some of the orphanages I have been in have amazing caretakers, and the children go to school and all their physical needs are met. I am not saying all orphanages are awful evil places. However, even in the best I have seen there are always many more children than adults, and I worry that the kids may not get a hug every single day. They may not have an adult who believes in them and takes the time to help them learn to be a healthy, happy, productive adult.
Eight to one seems like a ratio that we should be able to handle, even more so if we bring in more countries and religions. I am not asking or expecting other families to say that they want to have families with twenty-five children. I know that most families do not have the skills, resources, desire, or calling to have such large families. This is my mission and not theirs. However. I do think that Christian families should consider saving at least one. At least one little Honduran boy who sleeps on the streets every night and who collects glass bottles from the local dump to make enough money to eat. To save one little Ukrainian girl who is working in a brothel at 10 years old because it's the only option she sees. There are children who need homes. There are children who need love! There are children who need a family! There are children who need you. Even if you say that you don't have the ability to adopt right here right now, or ever, there is something you can do. You can support someone else who has or is thinking of adopting. You can help by praying for people who work with these children. You can help by just believing in us who are called to work with these children and giving us the emotional support and friendship we need.
I often run into people who don't believe in or get what I'm doing. Who think it is a waste for me to go to Southeast Asia to help dirty, bedraggled, disabled children when I could have so much more comfortable and beautiful a life here. But while those children's lives are ugly, my life is pointless. My life only has purpose and meaning when I'm helping others. There's a verse in the Bible where Jesus says "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. " I find my life and my purpose when I am with these children in Southeast Asia. I hope someday to visit more of the world and more of these children to help them, but for now Southeast Asia has more than enough babies to keep my heart and my hands full.
The first video I watched, The Houses Where China's Babies Are Abandoned is about safe places the government has set up for parents to leave their children instead of abandoning them in alleys and public parks. It is a great idea! However, I was distraught that one of the drop offs was closed because the orphanage attached with it reached capacity when over two hundred babies were left. As I said I felt despair and hopelessness from watching both the videos. This problem is far too big for me to handle on my own. No matter how many children I adopt, no matter how many children I take care of either on my own, or with my husband at my side, I cannot care for them all. I started ranting at God. I looked around as I got ready to leave for class at church and I thought about how pointless the things that surrounded me seemed to be in light of these children's existence. I yelled at God "What is the point of pretty clothes?! What is the point of beauty?? What is the point of freshly painted walls if there are children who are spending hours in dirty diapers or tied to chairs?!?! He soothed and calmed me in His gentle way, but He did not put the fire out in my soul. He assured me there is purpose in beauty. There is meaning in love and romance. There is reason for joy. The injustice, pain, and deprivation breaks His heart too, but His heart can hold joy and suffering. God was showing me that I will see both in this world, and I will need to let Him carry me through the lows, and dance with me on the highs. He also wanted to expand my vision and calling tonight to be bigger than it was before. I said "God I cannot do this alone!!!" and whispered "You don't have to, and you won't. You will work with many amazing passionate people. You will call to arms hundreds." I feel vulnerable and exposed writing this down and sharing it with you all. Like if I say it I might pop the beautiful calling and be proven a crazy dreamer. However, I feel the need and desire to share. I ranted at God that His church was not doing enough. I asked Him why He let us have so much free will, and why we pick selfishness so often. I asked Him why more of His people do not adopt, and why he has not raised people up to galvanize the sleepers to action. Then I apologized for my outrage and passion, but He told me not to. He said the He is rising me up to turn attention to the orphans of the world. That one of my jobs is going to be talking to families and lighting within them a passion to care for the most vulnerable of the world. He told me not to apologize for the passion and outrage and fire. He lit it.
Today has been quite the day! It started by getting to sleep in because thankfully my morning college class was cancelled due to the snow. I am still trying to get over jet lag so the extra sleep was much appreciated.
I am a bit embarrassed to say that I did not accomplish much with my morning and afternoon off. I allowed distracting thoughts to make me unproductive. Fretting about boys while trying to do accounting homework is usually not good for the accounting. Who would have guessed?
In the early evening I decided to look at some YouTube videos and take a break from accounting because I had gotten to a problem I did not know how to answer and I did not feel like going through the work of figuring it out. I started with some silly videos of my favorite YouTubing twins. They are so funny! I have always had a huge interest in twins, and I hope someday that I will be a mother to twins. After wasting fifteen/twenty minutes one of the suggested videos for me to watch was The Houses Where China's Babies Are Abandoned. After that I watched The Dying Room. I am going to link to the documentaries that I watched, but I will warn you The Dying Room is not pleasant to watch. It is not easy to watch. I would advise that you not watch it in front of your children. It is hard to see. Even if you think you are prepared, as I did. After watching these two documentaries about the how many babies are abandoned and the deplorable conditions some of them live in I was heartbroken, depressed, angry, and overwhelmed. I wanted to bring these children home and take care of them! However, I knew that is not an option.
Ever since I was five, I wanted to be a wife and a mother. As I grew and my hopes expanded to "I want to be a mother to a big family with some adopted children." When I was around ten I first heard about the Gilbreth family and my mother read me the book Cheaper by the Dozen. They were an amazing big family with twelve children who were completely misrepresented in the Hollywood movies about their lives. At the end of it I thought "If it is cheaper by the dozen; I'll take two." and ever since then I have felt a desire and the capacity to care for around twenty-five children. I still fully plan to mother around twenty-five children. I don't know where I will find a husband who will share this dream and passion for children, but I have decided if such a man cannot be found, then somehow, someway I will find a way to do it by myself. If Mother Teresa could, why can't I?
In watching The Dying Room and seeing children who are tied to chairs over their potties all day long, and babies who live in soiled diapers until they have sores, and sick ones left in rooms to die alone, I was broken again for these children.
I looked up some statistic numbers and discovered that if the numbers I got were accurate for every orphan in the world that is living on the streets or in an orphanage, there are eight Americans who identify as a Protestant Christian. We outnumber them eight to one and yet there are still over seventeen million of them out there. How can this be?!?!
Now I am well aware that not every Protestant Christian has the ability to adopt. I myself am to my great dismay not yet in a place to adopt. Many who care are too poor, already have as many children as they can take care of, are unmarried and unprepared for single parenthood, do not have the emotional strength, etc, but at the same time, eight to one seems like a ratio that we could handle and eliminate. If just one in eight Protestant American Christians would adopt one child we could get them off the streets and out of the understaffed and overcrowded orphanages. Some of the orphanages I have been in have amazing caretakers, and the children go to school and all their physical needs are met. I am not saying all orphanages are awful evil places. However, even in the best I have seen there are always many more children than adults, and I worry that the kids may not get a hug every single day. They may not have an adult who believes in them and takes the time to help them learn to be a healthy, happy, productive adult.
Eight to one seems like a ratio that we should be able to handle, even more so if we bring in more countries and religions. I am not asking or expecting other families to say that they want to have families with twenty-five children. I know that most families do not have the skills, resources, desire, or calling to have such large families. This is my mission and not theirs. However. I do think that Christian families should consider saving at least one. At least one little Honduran boy who sleeps on the streets every night and who collects glass bottles from the local dump to make enough money to eat. To save one little Ukrainian girl who is working in a brothel at 10 years old because it's the only option she sees. There are children who need homes. There are children who need love! There are children who need a family! There are children who need you. Even if you say that you don't have the ability to adopt right here right now, or ever, there is something you can do. You can support someone else who has or is thinking of adopting. You can help by praying for people who work with these children. You can help by just believing in us who are called to work with these children and giving us the emotional support and friendship we need.
I often run into people who don't believe in or get what I'm doing. Who think it is a waste for me to go to Southeast Asia to help dirty, bedraggled, disabled children when I could have so much more comfortable and beautiful a life here. But while those children's lives are ugly, my life is pointless. My life only has purpose and meaning when I'm helping others. There's a verse in the Bible where Jesus says "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. " I find my life and my purpose when I am with these children in Southeast Asia. I hope someday to visit more of the world and more of these children to help them, but for now Southeast Asia has more than enough babies to keep my heart and my hands full.
The first video I watched, The Houses Where China's Babies Are Abandoned is about safe places the government has set up for parents to leave their children instead of abandoning them in alleys and public parks. It is a great idea! However, I was distraught that one of the drop offs was closed because the orphanage attached with it reached capacity when over two hundred babies were left. As I said I felt despair and hopelessness from watching both the videos. This problem is far too big for me to handle on my own. No matter how many children I adopt, no matter how many children I take care of either on my own, or with my husband at my side, I cannot care for them all. I started ranting at God. I looked around as I got ready to leave for class at church and I thought about how pointless the things that surrounded me seemed to be in light of these children's existence. I yelled at God "What is the point of pretty clothes?! What is the point of beauty?? What is the point of freshly painted walls if there are children who are spending hours in dirty diapers or tied to chairs?!?! He soothed and calmed me in His gentle way, but He did not put the fire out in my soul. He assured me there is purpose in beauty. There is meaning in love and romance. There is reason for joy. The injustice, pain, and deprivation breaks His heart too, but His heart can hold joy and suffering. God was showing me that I will see both in this world, and I will need to let Him carry me through the lows, and dance with me on the highs. He also wanted to expand my vision and calling tonight to be bigger than it was before. I said "God I cannot do this alone!!!" and whispered "You don't have to, and you won't. You will work with many amazing passionate people. You will call to arms hundreds." I feel vulnerable and exposed writing this down and sharing it with you all. Like if I say it I might pop the beautiful calling and be proven a crazy dreamer. However, I feel the need and desire to share. I ranted at God that His church was not doing enough. I asked Him why He let us have so much free will, and why we pick selfishness so often. I asked Him why more of His people do not adopt, and why he has not raised people up to galvanize the sleepers to action. Then I apologized for my outrage and passion, but He told me not to. He said the He is rising me up to turn attention to the orphans of the world. That one of my jobs is going to be talking to families and lighting within them a passion to care for the most vulnerable of the world. He told me not to apologize for the passion and outrage and fire. He lit it.
This song has resonated with me since I found it, but especially tonight.
Goodnight my dears. Please pray for me. This task is far beyond me.
Also, if you are wanting an organization to donate money to to help children I ask you to consider Orphan Voice. They are the amazing organization I have worked with in Vietnam. One of their many programs that I especially love is Keeping Families Together where they support poor families with food, medical care, and other needs so that they do not need to abandon their children. You can look at it as orphan prevention.
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